Rutgers and Respect

Ghastly!  A coach verbally disparaging a player for their lack of performance!  Calling him homophobic names for ignoring the coaches teaching!  How could he not care for the player's feelings and admire his skill and athleticism!

Good thing I wear a buzz cut.  My man card could be in danger for writing those sentences.

Coaches have yelled at and cussed out players since the first Olympics in Greece.  It's a dirty secret to most of the world, but from the inside, it was a way of life.  At one time, what happened in practice and the locker room stayed in there.  I've been yelled at and cussed out.  I've also been ignored by coaches.  I've had it coming every time.  I was young, arrogant and clueless.  I needed to be humbled.  I wondered why he was yelling at me: I was trying my best.

Find better ways to polish a diamond.  One way is to go back in time to an old school coach, John Wooden.  From the books on his coaching, to the lessons he taught in life,  John Wooden did it without a four letter word, crossing lines to disrespect, and with the intent to shape the individual and the team.  Using nasty nicknames running down another lifestyle is definitely not on the agenda because it shows no respect.

Respect is paramount in coach/player relationships.  The player should respect the coach for his knowledge and teaching ability.  The coach respects the skill and athleticism of the player or, at the college level, they wouldn't be there.  The coach has the responsibility of turning a program into a winner with the raw materials of the player's skill and athleticism.  The stakes are the opportunity for the coach to hold that job and all that goes with it.  Ideally, the player's opportunity is to get an education to earn a better living.

Mutual respect is required to make that work.  I've seen players change, primarily in that there is little respect for anyone; parents, school, authority.  Coaches have changed in that some will go to the most vile end of the spectrum to achieve, a lack of respect.

A long time ago, I told my kids that the worst thing a coach could do was not yell at you: it was to ignore you.  If they chew you out, it's because you have ability and are not learning.  If they ignore you, you aren't any good and not worth the time and effort to correct.

Mike Lightfoot at Bethel College in Indiana has reached 100, 200, 300, 400, 500, and 600 wins faster than any coach in history...and never used a four letter or derogatory word.  I'm proud to have served with him briefly, and still use those tactics in my coaching.  Of course, Coach Lightfoot is a disciple of John Wooden.

So...am I off base?

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